If I had my children to raise again.

(Grant and Cami enjoying their "juice" party)
About a week ago, I came across a poem that made me stop and think about me being a parent. I hate being stressed out, and always yelling at my kids. I know, trust me, I know it is a choice. I have decided to make a choice and start enjoying my children (as I have tried and tried before). But I want to look back and not regret worrying about this or that, I want to know I did everything I could to make them happy. So enjoy the poem... Maybe it'll have some profound impact on you. Or not. It's ok, it did on me ;)

If I Had My Child To Raise Again

If I had my child to raise over again
I'd build self-esteem first
and the house later
I'd finger paint more
and point the finger less
I would do less correcting
and more connecting
I'd take my eyes off my watch
and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less
and know to care more
I'd take more hikes
and fly more kites
I'd stop playing serious
and seriously play
I would run through more fields
and gaze at more stars
I'd do more hugging
and less tugging
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often
and affirm much more
I'd model less about the love of power
And more about the power of love.
-Diane Loomans

Drama-rama-mama

Anyone who knows me, or well, the younger me, knows that I come with plenty of "drama". I'd like to state that I've hated it for some time, and have been able to keep my life simple for a long time now... Except when it comes to Grant. The kid is so much like me, we tend to have drama-rama days at our home. Maybe it's normal, I don't know. Today has been difficult. It's 40 degrees and he's out playing in the water. Granted that he was trying to fill up the chickens water, but OH MY GOODNESS. I just stood there trying not to yell. I just walked away. He ran after me saying he was sorry and he didn't want me to leave and he wanted me to be his mommy. It broke my heart. I told him I would always be his mom. The fact is, Grant is a great kid, I just tend to not be a great mother.

He continues to watch out for his sisters, and me. Yesterday I was lying in bed (cold and with a headache); he came in and wanted to know what was wrong. I told him, and he brushed the hair from my cheek and gave me a kiss. Amazing. He is getting easier to just deal with, and he is able to comprehend things, which helps a ton! Oh my ever growing little boy. I hope he always knows how special and loved he is!

I had a parent teacher conference with his preschool teacher last week. I guess I am not the only one who is amazed at this little boy. He has blown everyone out of the water with how much he knows and can retain. She told me to put him in Kindergarten, even if the teacher makes a big deal with him being a “young” 5. Today we did his valentines, and I was taken back when he started picking them up (after I wrote the kids names on it) and began telling me they’re names. He also knows his letters, and can say a word and tell me what it starts with. Again, HOLY COW!! I remember reading about my cousin’s boy, Drew, and how proud she was when he started learning these things… I now understand! He is also starting to problem solve. If I tell him no, we can’t do something, he comes up with a solution. He is also great at solving issues with Cami. He just amazes me.

I hope that on days like this, Grant will never question how amazing he is. I hope he never questions my love for him. He is a great kid, and he is special to me. I just need to learn to be better at this Mom thing.

Look who's 7 months!

Oh my goodness, time sure does fly these days. Last month, my little "Molly" (the insinkable Molly Brown) turned 6 months! To celebrate that we made it through, we gave her a cupcake...

Needless to say, she loved it, a lot. She certainly is not the same baby, amazing what a few months will do. She is a whole lot happier, and enjoys being here. At the beginning of the year I decided to let her cry it out. It took more than a few days, but she finally did it! I also found that if I went to her in the middle of the night, she had a harder day. Short story, I let her cry it out if she wakes up at night, because it means a happier little monkey the next day.

She had her check up yesterday. Surprise, she does have "acid reflux". I have seen 2 Dr's and 1 NP about this, and no one would do anything because she was gaining weight. Now that she is 7 months, he agree's something is not right and put her on medicine. If this does not clear it up, we will have to go see a GI specialist. I just feel bad for her (and whoever is holding her after her feedings) because she spits up a good half of her milk or food. But she has been a great sport.

I love that Kara has become so much fun. She is now pulling herself around, and is starting to get into things. She doesn't talk much, or babble, but can she really get anything in with 2 older siblings? Her hair is starting to come in, and sure enough, we have a red head for now, hence the "Molly". Either way, I am so glad she came to our family. I am glad she decided she needed to come, and didn't wait for mommy or daddy to say. She is truly a strong spirit, and I know she will do great things!