Today, I sat pondering my life, and where I am at. I, of course, compared myself to who I use to be through the years. For some strange reason I remembered something from back when I was 17. As a teenager and adult, I have battled depression pretty bad. I don’t think anyone truly knows how bad I really get, other than my own mother. But I was remembering back when I was in a low time in my life, and I remembered an episode of Oprah. She encouraged her audience to make a list of five things everyday that they were thankful for. It reminds me of the song, “Count Your Many Blessings”. Through doing this, and the aid of some medication, I started to feel better. I desperately want to feel better, and do the things that I desire to do for my family and in other areas of my life. So as I need it more than ever, here are the top 5 things I am thankful for today:
1. My foundation, my rock, my love, Mark. Today when things were the hardest, he wanted to do everything to take care of things. He understands me, and is truly my best friend. For him, I want to be better.
2. My little piece of laughter, my light, my strength, Grant. I am truly blessed to be his mommy. My Heavenly Father knew I would need something to keep me getting up every day for. This little boy has brought so much meaning and brightness into my world, I can only be amazed with him.
3. My job. Had I not been “promoted” in the beginning, I would be out of a job about now. It helps pay the bills. It also allows me to interact with people who make me laugh, and allow me to do my “own” thang.
4. The Church. It has brought so many blessings into my life, and I am grateful for my parents raising me, and teaching me right from wrong.
5. I am grateful that my primary physician came to find me, knowing I needed help and was denied it from my OB.
I pray that I will soon feel better, and move on from this, again. Sorry to whine (or be annoying) on this.